pssst

Dear everyone,

I'm not actually dead, just busy undercover.

Will write soon xxx

Hey hey! Soft porn with seashells!!!

Hey check it out! It's like someone has a watersports, seaweed and mollusc fantasy here!! And it's not me! The picture in the post before this one was included because I've had that watery tart up in my loo for years... then I found this picture - and well, I just included her 'cause it looks like bad soft porn... and frankly, I find alot of soft porn rather amusing.

A spot of karaoke madness anyone???

A - Z of karaoke madness at the Colmslie Hotel (my local dive - sorry, $6 million later that should read expensively renovated dive)
A - Aloha go bananas how much fun did we pissed idiots have at the pub blasting out karaoke??!!
B - Bogans - by the shedload in this pub!! We really were rockin' the suburbs!!
C - Colmslie Hotel - horrid horrid pub just 3 blocks away from our house - Very expensively renovated but still a dump! (albeit a dump with Karaoke on thursday nights now!!)
D - Dodgy moustache on the chap running the karaoke thingummyjigger
E - Entertaining as all fuckery given that half the people on stage had excessively limited talent!
F - Fountain. The one outside the pub. The one we ended up splashing around in at the end of the night
G - Great to hear Little Mister get up and do a song - niiiiice one sista!
H - Hot and sticky Queensland summer weather
I - Intoxicated boys, a big crew of them - out on a 21st or a bucks night or something who ended up being our most enthusiastic fans and made us feel very special as they crowded drunkenly around the little stage and mobbed us as we made our way back to our table.
J - Just for laughs you understand - strictly for laughs!
K - Karaoke nerds - basically what we are now. Technically.
L - Lacy tops are still all the rage in the suburbs, judging by the large number of girlies wearing them. The girls and I were frightfully out of fashion - not even Mermaidgrrrl who has been known from time to time to sport the odd spot of lace.
M - Me and Bobby McGee - gotta love belting out a Janis Joplin tune to a room full of kerschnockered bogans...
N - No pride, no dignity, no respect... ergo nothing to lose!
O - Ordinarily wouldn't be seen dead dancing around like this but hey! when in Rome...
P - Poodle Perm - bad, blonde, and fairly fluffy. Belonging to Dodgy Moustache's side kick
Q - Quickly now, grab that microphone and sing some more Whitney Houston!!! Or Celine Dion!! Or Guns and Roses!
R - Rod Stewart - SO not sexy - and boys - if you're mates tell you otherwise... they're taking the piss brutha!
S - Surprise appearances from MermaidMich, Senor Fishbits, and Mr Slippers... I LOVE it when a plan comes together. And it IS good to know my public still love me hehehe
T - Tattoo's - lots of 'em. Some on us, most of them on other people - in particular Choppha's young punker mates... bless!
U - Ubiquitous drinking of tequila and beer! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehar!!!!
V - Vicariously living through us is clearly going to take you places you never thought you would go! Colmslie Hotel - veni, vidi, vici!!!!!!!
W - Wayne the kiwi bloke - apparently thought I was a bit of orright and asked Little Mister how could he get to meet me??
X - Xtremely sad lack of gorgeous men in this place - how am I going to get laid if there's no gorgeous men around???? Fuck it, I'd settle for one with a 'great personality' .... ok, one with a pulse?? ....
Y - Yes please, I'll have another!!
Z - Zonked out from too many beers and tequilas at the end of the night.

Laughed... we nearly shat!

The Surfari Krishnas and the Fred Band @ Ric's

Last wednesday night I went to see the Surfari Krishna's and the Fred Band in 'Brokeback Mountain - the musical' at Ric's in the Valley.

I went with mr Slippers (who was playing with the Fred Band) and we met up the bodacious Mermaidgrrrl and the lovely Little Mister. I joined the girls at Fat Boys for some nachos beforehand while Mr Slippers went into sound check Ric's and hang out with Phlegm (who happened to be celebrating his birthday that day).

After the girls and I had finished munching next door, we went into Ric's where the evening began most promisingly (with beers) and watched the crowd trickle in. There were many of the usual suspects there, in fact the small, keen crowd was relatively chockablock full of local b grade celebrities, but we had decided to plunk ourselves right in front of the stage for the best view (mind you it's the only sensible choice in Ric's - if 50 people were in there, and everyone breathed out at once, the windows would break!). Anyways, Jeff Corbett was playing DJ (the beauty of it being your own place I suppose) whilst many, many people began to set up onstage (the stage in Ric's is about the size of a postage stamp) and to the credit of all involved they managed to get 7 people onstage at once! Nice work really innit?

The Surfari Krishnas were on first, and they were really good. Fred (from Sixfthick on drums, Greg from Blowhard on bass, a guy I didn't recognise on guitar and this chap looking suspiciously like the Vegas Years Elvis in cognito playing some kind of strange little gadget) Little Mister and I went outside to smoke a joint, but did not dally as the big fat surf- guitar led sound of the band was resulting in some really gorgeous music. The part of it all that had me absolutely fascinated was the great big bloke on the stage in the Elvis glasses waving and wiggling his hand over this little gadget that was making all sorts of fabulous sounds. It sounded like a Theremin but then it had all these other fantastic little effects so I wasn't really sure. Anyways this bloke was waving and wiggling away creating this really gorgeous waves of noise that just sort of floated over everything else. Worked REALLY well with the sound of everything else. Turns out that Elvis-guy's name is Greg, so I went and quizzed him about his instrument at the end of the night ... turns out it IS a theremin and Greg had a bloke down in Melbourne make it for him (having extra effects and stuff built into it rather than just the basic electronic instrument) plus he uses a pedal for extra effects too. Very fucking clever and I was completely fascinated - I want one!!! Smallest little theremin I've ever seen - it looked more like a little amp plug in than an independantly operating instrument... grooviest thing I've seen since I moved here. I must have one!!! Imagine the fun (and groovy sound effects) you could make anywhere at anytime with one of those little babies!!!!

Anyway the Surfari Krishnas did a fantastic set and I felt myself totally at peace with the sixties (for the first time in a while hehehe) and then the Fred Band took to the stage. Now I hadn't seen these guys before but they are kinda legendary in this town amongst a certain crowd (the cool valley crowd) so I must admit I was very keen to check 'em out (plus Mr Slippers was onstage and I wanted to show him support too). Rollo from Blowhard on bass, Greg from Blowhard on drums, Fred (aka Rocky Outcrop) from Sixfthick on guitar, and Coral Outcrop (I have no idea as to his real identity) on the stick with bottletops banged into it. They were joined by Junior from Harpoon on harp and Greg/the Elvis glasses dude on theremin for the night as they got stuck straight into 'Brokeback Mountain - the Musical'.

It became fairly evident straight up that this was more like being at a jam where everyone was really smashed before starting than a polished/professional gig as such, not that we minded after all it was a gorgeous night and Gregs birthday so onstage antics were certainly encouraged from the enthusiastic crowd. Rocky Outcrop did most of the talking - and fuck me can that man talk (underwater with a mouthful of marbles most likely) and they launched into the 'Brokeback Mountain' theme song - which consisted pretty much of everyone just playing absolutely flat out on their instruments while Rocky bellowed 'Brokeback mountaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain Brokeback mountaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain Brokeback mountaaaaaaaaaaaain' until he ran out of breath and they ran out of steam. hehehe and that was actually about as lucid as it got. Loads of fun, lots and lots of laughs - my favourite bit was the 'Breakfast Rap' (which went for about 40 minutes as Rocky and Greg basically ran around onstage and through the crowd practically foaming at the mouth whilst Rocky delivered a monologue from hell - thanks in part to the copious quantities of beer he'd consumed) which culminated in a repeated chant of 'yo yo yo' while the boys went ballistic into the crowd!!! Fucking hysterical actually - a mad cacophony of noise is how I remember it (Mermaidgrrrl hated it's guts!!) and as I said to Fred later - bits of it were even excellent!

Biggest problem with the Fred Band was Jeff had the sound levels turned up waaaaaaaay too fucking high... it was painfully loud - he had them set to stadium level loud ... Ric's is so small you could probably leave everything somewhere between 1 - 4 anyway but hey! What a great night!

Bring back the jumpsuit!!

El Borracho, The Vegas Kings, Bob Log @ the Rev

What a great night this was - 2 of my favourite Brissie bands in the one line-up... so who knew or cared who or what Bob Log was eh?

Love the Rev - cool little venue, big enough to avoid someone you don't like (like BARRY the knobgobbler during the Hard-Ons gig last year) but small enough to catch up with everyone you do(like at last year's Ramone-a-thon)! I always meet groovers at the Rev, it never costs a fortune to get in (most I've paid is about $20) and I pretty much always have a good time. It used to be an old church but has been a gig venue for some time now (at least that's what the locals tell me) and has a really cool little tiny beergarden out the front lit by fairy lights - and as we all know nothing says party like fairy lights!! (and a sequinned boob-tube if you ask Bubbles!!)

Anyways, went to the gig, El Borracho did a great little set first up (I was even a tad groupie-ish and wore my El Borracho t-shirt - mostly because I remembered that night that I had one as I was getting dressed and hadn't yet worn it!!) - doesn't matter what sort of a mood you start the set in, as soon as Stuie gets going on that slide and Paul starts cranking out those vocals delivered at breakneck pace, your feet start moving and the whole gorgeous infectious delivery just ends up making everyone jump around. I even had my mate the lovely Hawaiian Masseur Senor Fishbits there and he liked 'em lots and lots - almost enough to concentrate on the music and not the proliferation of attractive young bloods around the joint. (I understand to a point - I like 'em tattooed and scruffy too, but he does tend to like 'em a little toooooo young for my taste - personally when boys are that young I wanna take 'em home and feed them, make sure they have some clean knickers on and a clean hanky along with change for the bus in their pocket... that sort of stuff!)

Anyways El Borracho did a fabulous job as always, and I didn't actually get to see the Vegas Kings because I was outside yapping to Stuie and Mr Slippers and this crazy dude called John (who I met for the first time and was utterly mesmerized by - not only did he talk a squillion miles an hour but he said the most outrageous things and was just completely fascinating - owns a guitar shop somewhere here in town and asked if Adelaide is as completely and utterly fucked and he suspects - by the way I asked him how completely and utterly fucked he thinks it is, and was very happy to be able to reassure him that it wasn't - there aren't actually acid baths in every second house in Adelaide!!!). Stu was feeling glum because he'd managed to get one note out of his amp (that he had borrowed as his were in being fixed) before it blew. So then he had to borrow an amp from the Vegas Kings, broke several strings, had his awesome solo cut muy short in El Instrumento (which is the very cool instrumental song they do where he usually gets to cut loose and wow everyone in the audience with his string supremacy) and was just basically feeling like blowing off the Rev, grabbing some pizza and going home.... which not surprisingly he did hehehe... wish I'd gone with him for pizza - just can't bust a move on that fellow - it's sooooo against the code... he's a mate of my ex... bugger! Makes him unattainable for ever - sucks to me!! But anyway....

So, missed the Vegas Kings, but knowing them (and from what I could hear coming out of the place) it was an awesome, dirty, rockin' set delivered to a hungry crowd at breakneck speed and without missing a beat. Those boys are ACE!

Then it was Bob Log.

hehe the dude actually wore a jumpsuit. And if you think an old-school jumpsuit in dark blue polysatin with stars down the sides of the arms and legs and flares wasn't enough for ya - he actually wore a full face sparkly silver motorcycle helmet, with an old fashioned big, heavy, black telephone handset attached upside down to the front of it with a mic lead coming from it. AND silver sparkles on his chest. Man the guy was hysterical. His ideas were suuuuper cool (even if the performance did get a little same old, same old by about half way through). So Bob Log turns out to be a wacky, crazy, zany one man blues extravaganza from Tucson, Arizona in the USA. He crowd surfed the crowd in a rubber dingy without missing a beat, he had MASSES of energy and his variations of a theme were positively astonishing.

I think he was one pretty cool dude.

Remember kids, Bob Log. hehehe fucking weirdo.

Who knew the Ramones were so country????

Ok, come with me now... I wanna take you to a little place in the West End - which is of course the particularly groovy & bohemian end of Brisvegas... where there are still loads of hippies, and students, and artists and musicians, bums and homeless dodgy looking dudes wandering the streets, lots of people with mental health issues, weirdos, vegans, wierdo vegans, and alternative types by the bucketload - obviously the coolest part of town!! This is a very funky little suburb tucked into a bend in the river, close to everything but not yet ritzed up, glammed out, totally fucked over and rendered soulless by dollar worshipping developers and their evil empires. This is where the best markets in Brisbane are - under the incredibly gorgeous Moreton Bay figs down by the river... the funkiest markets where you can eat a snowcone whilst listening to the barefoot jazz kids jamming on their milk crates, watching families of all shapes and descriptions play and relax... nice! This is the part of town where all the best bookshops, record stores (that's right kids - VINYL with the big fat bottom end and it's endless appeal and vulnerability), restaurants of every shape and ethnicity, a profusion of fabulous little coffee houses, second hand clothes stores, art and art supply shops, Trash Video, Bent Books, The Avid Reader, The Three Monkeys (absolute best cake on the planet), a sheisha house (big hookah-like smoking pipe thing from Turkey where you sit around it and smoke fruit tobacco's over hot coals through these long snake-like appendages), Mick's Nuts, Reverse Garbage (where you can find everything and anything) and endless other varieties of funky businesses of every shape and description. If an Egg Yolk Jellyfish were the sort of jellyfish to show discernment and taste in the parts of town that it frequents, then Brisbane's West End would be just the place it would hang out. It would eat at Cantina's and Lefka's, it would wander up and down Boundary Road checking out all the different stuff - it would probably head toward the river, finding itself in the leafier, greener part of the West End... it would quite likely find itself on Hardgrave Road ambling along cheerfully. If an Egg Yolk Jellyfish were to find itself ambling cheerfully along Hardgrave Road it would almost definitely go past Tongue and Groove at some point - which amazingly enough brings me to the point of this whole monologue.... Thursday before last I discovered 2 awesome Brisbanian things - 1) Tongue and Groove, and 2) Death Rides a Horse. Now from the street, Tongue and Groove looks like just another of the West Ends MANY funky restaurants chockablock full of tasty titbits, but as I discovered you can go downstairs to the coolest, funkiest, most laid back little bar I've been in whilst up here yet!!! Like being in someone's loungeroom if it were uber-cool and full of groovy, beautiful people. (with suitably esoteric artworks on the wall and of course a big fuck off bar in the middle of it). Down one end was the velvet half of the room - floor to ceiling red velvet drapes, fairy lights, and teensy weensy stage. There was a big old piano, lots of sofas and lounge chairs, and dreadlocked student-y types there, chatting and so forth. Down the other end of this fabulous little oubliette of cool were more lounges, more sofas, more dreadlocked student-y and musician types, and a doorway through to where you can go (semi)outside to smoke etc. So we got a drink, and made ourselves comfortable by leaning against the piano and watched Stu and Paul from fabulous Brisvegas band 'El Borracho' (one of my favourite bands on the scene here) do their 'Death Rides a Horse' thing. And lemme tell ya it's a fab, fab thing. Utterly hilarious. All Ramones, all mellow, all steel string (and some slide guitar), all perfectly delivered by Paul with Stu providing extremely amusing commentary. Now Stu happens to be one of the finest guitarists it has ever been my good fortune to come across (not to mention a drop dead SPUNK and - much like Philosophy Stu - a version of the perfect man) - so good in fact that he makes country almost bearable, and in this case extremely enjoyable. After all I love a good laugh and if you've ever heard these boys do 'Beat on the brat', 'The KKK took my baby away', 'Rockaway Beach', 'I wanna be sedated' or 'Sheena is a punk rocker' then you too would be in stitches. Who knew the Ramones were so country???? I never did, and it gave me a new perspective, and a new appreciation of one of my favourite bands. The boys were giving away their Death Rides a Horse cd, and lemme tell ya it's excellent so if you get the chance to nab one, do so! (otherwise you can come over to my place, smoke a few billys and listen to my copy). So not punk, so not cool, that it's cool!!!


Man my new fave little joint is The Tongue and Groove (they have live music there 4 nights a week and on sunday arvo's) and Death Rides a Horse were way better than Dick Desert (the guy that most people were there to see - the only thing I liked about him was his 'cousin' Daisy Desert, who was a boy in a dress who played really bad harmonica... the kitsch factor was massive there). And if a Purple Stripe Jellyfish was reeeeeeeeally into the Ramones I bet Death Rides a Horse would be it's favourite band!!! I'm totally gonna a) keep an eye out for the next Death Rides a Horse gig and b) get my arse back to the Tongue and Groove as soon as possible!

All I want is instant gratification... and to go to Radio Birdman gigs more often!

Isn't she a spunk? There's a story there but it can wait.

Lots to tell, let's get started.

Ok... WORK: Haven't had any for two weeks - was great fun at first - hanging out in the hammock reading Harry Potter and enjoying life in the laid back lane. Getting up late-ish and smoking bongs during the day and on a school night! then after a few days of this I started to get a little worried that although it was nice to hang out I preferred working (mostly because I like spending money on crazy stuff like food and petrol and stuff like that). So I started getting up normal times and stepping up the campaign to harass my agency into finding me something... anything at all - it doesn't even have to be particularly good, just paid!!
So a week goes by and I'm starting to get stressed, I've registered with Seek.com... a few more days go by and I'm more than a little stressed and wondering why I cant find work??? I'm super skilled and stuff!! They totally love my guts!!! Freaky.
End of 2nd week and I've joined another agency - clearly it's idiotic of me to have put all my eggs in one basket so to speak in regards to recruitment agencies.
Surprisingly (or perhaps not so surprisingly) joining the second agency has given me work straight away - in fact I hadn't even finished my testing before they came in and said would I like to do a days work across the road!! So I said yes, and here I am.

Everyone - do me a favour - please cross your fingies and pray to (insert deity of choice here) that this brief no work thing is over for me... please!!

Cheers cobbers :-)

Onwards and upwards!!

HOME: Lots happening here too - we have a boy moving in! He seems like a great chap - Mermaidmish is stoked because being cock obsessed as she is the fact that he is a spunk has not escaped her. Her suggestion to me upon meeting him was actually 'let's get him drunk and do things to him'. Not a bad suggestion really - he does seem like a good sport! :-)
Bubbles is well and happy - life is good for her and her boy - gotta love that really.
We had a bunch of people over last night for MAGNIFICENT chicken carbonara (I think the secret is in the Barossa Egg Noodles we use instead of normal pasta) followed by an hysterical game of Balderdash. Really really REALLY good fun. I love Balderdash. In fact - I won last night, so now I can die happy!
Wonder what it will be like living with a boy?????

GIGS: well I've been to a few great gigs in the last few weeks. In fact so far 2006 has been ace for gigs.

Radio Birdman @ the Coolangatta Hotel

Nice warm night, gorgeous drive down to picturesque Coolangatta - smoked a doobie on the way down anticipating my VERY FIRST EVER Radio Birdman gig... excited is just not the word!!! Finally the red and black flag was flying somewhere I could actually get to and check it out!!! YEAH HUP!!!
So basically local Brissie boys the Giants of Science supported - they were pretty good - first time I'd seen them and although I'd been looking forward to checkin' 'em out for a while I basically wasn't really that interested - couldn't concentrate on anything but Birdman baby, yeah!! So I checked out the space and as far as venues go the Coolangatta Hotel is well and truly the sort of venue you would describe as a dive. Horrible, horrible place really, but hey! They're hosting one of the best bands to ever come out of Oz so can't be all bad right?

Big ugly glass exterior to the pub, absolutely chockablock full of Gold Coast types (read: well dressed bogans with tans) and man the place is MUHASSIVE!!!! Bar after bar after bar, all of them crammed to the rafters with drunken funlovers... and note to self: do NOT take ex-boyfriend to gigs full of gorgeous men!!! It totally made me unable even to perve let alone tune someone or even get a celebratory snog/meaningless post-gig shag on the beach/whatever... bummer actually - because the gig was totally crawling with spunkalicious man-flesh.... mmmmmm! So next time I go check out the Birdman action I'm taking a female friend!!!! I must've been very discreet, because I'm pretty sure the Ex-Factor didn't notice me actually tripping over my own tongue, or dribbling out the side of my mouth when I checked out some of the babes in that horrible, glass fronted upstairs disco-trash venue.

But I digress, actually the music was what it was all about - and man those old boys might be looking pretty crusty (anyone actualy seen Rob Younger these days - bad pun with the name intended) but christ on a cross those fella's can still crank it out like maniacs!!!

They started the show with a searing rendition of 'Burn my eye' that left it absolutely clear these boys still mean business, and can rip it up like the pro's they are. Denis Tek just plays amazing guitar - if he is half as skilled as a doctor as he is a musician then his patients need have absolutely no fear whatsoever!! I kinda didn't expect him to be a little innocuous looking bloke but give a fuck what he looks like man the dude can play!

I have to say Rob Younger is definitely looking old and haggard - aside from that (and I can't help but mention that crazy arse fairy floss hair that just looks straight out of the Muppet Show) he is still THE frontman of THE band - the guy has incredible delivery and is a consummate performer - ten out of ten for cool crowd interaction too - it's almost enough to make ya wanna take up heroin innit??!!

So after a ballistic start they continued to blitz us aurally, cranking out 'Smith n Wesson' , 'Do the Pop' (a personal favourite of mine - there was not a still bum in the house as everyone was getting down like lunatics), 'End Zone', and 'Non-stop Girls'.

Then they got into some of their new stuff and I couldn't sing along anymore - but although I found some of it a little too introspective for my liking, some of it was awesome four to the floor straight up rock n roll in the inimitable style they have become so famous for - and this I loved!

The boys got back into their older stuff after a while and pulled out a few crowd pleasers (well as it was my first Birdman gig I wanted to hear the oldies that I knew and loved) with 'Aloha' (which sent the crowd into a frenzy) and 'New Race'.

They finished early but gave us two awesome encores and basically kids I just loved every second of it.

Radio Birdman I gotta say thank you

for all you've done for me

the nights are dark and lonely

when you're not on my cd

hehehe ok I know that was badly bastardized but hey! You get the point!

Ye man... LOVED Radio Birdman's guts.

A place... where nobody dared to go...

I have only one thing to say today, and that is - I feel fantastic!!! I spoke to my brother on the phone, then my sister, and then my mum and got off the phone feeling really good about things... as in I'm not making easy things hard nor am I being unreasonable etc etc. Basically I know I'm ok! Wahoo!! And if that wasn't enough, then my gorgeous girlfriends plied me with champagne and bongs and pizza until we were dancing around the living room, singing along to the soundtrack of 'Xanadu' at top volume, into our wooden spoon 'microphones'!!!
Laughed!!! We nearly shat! Aaaaaaaaaaah soulfood!! There truly is some fun you just cannot have with boys around hehehe

A place where nobody dared to go

The love that we came to know

They call it Xanadu uu uuu u

And now

Open your eyes and see

What we have made is real

We are in Xaaanadu uu uuu uu

A million lights are dancing

And there you are

A shooting star

An everlasting world

And you're here with me

Eternally

Xaaaaanadu

Xaaanaduuu

(now we are here)

In Xanadu u u

Xaaaanaduuuu

Xaaanaduuuuu

(now we are here)

In Xanadu u u

Xanadu - your neon lights will shine

For youuuuu

Xanadu u u u u u

The love

The echoes of long ago

You needed the world to know

They are in Xanadu u uuu u uu

The dream

That came through a million years

That lived on through all the tears

It came to Xanadu u u u uuu

A million lights are dancing

And there you are

A shooting star

An everlasting world

And you're here with me

Eternally

Xanadu

Xanaduuuu

(now we are here)

In Xanadu u u

Xanaduuu

Xanadu u uu uu

(now we are here)

In Xanaduuuu

Now that I'm here

Now that you're near

in Xaaaanaaadu

Now that I'm here

Now that you're near

in Xaaaaanaaaaaaduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Xanaduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Aaaaah good times!! How we love Olivia - on rollerskates even!!!

Anyways - this is a Box Jellyfish... would you lick it? Would ya?? Huh?? Huh??? Would ya????

What about this one??? It's a Blue Jellyfish... think you would give it a bit of a slurp if it were swimming past you in the ocean? Maybe you'd drop down on all fours and give it a lick if you saw it lying on the beach (much to the surprise and possible consternation of all passersby)??

This is the Lagoon Jellyfish - gorgeous innit? But I ask you - would you lick it?

Would you lick it in a house?

Would you lick it with a mouse?

Would you lick it in the rain?

Would you lick it on a train??

The Crystal Jellyfish - Would you lick it with your mother?

Would you lick it with your brother?

Would you lick it in a box?

Would you lick it with a fox?

The Lion's Mane Jellyfish - would you lick it with a slurp? Would you lick it and then burp? Would you lick it from a dish? Would you lick this jellyfish??????

And here's some stuff you may not have known about my cat...

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Mollymoo!

1. Mollymoo can eat up to four kilograms of insects in a single night.
2. More than one million stray dogs and half a million stray cats live in Mollymoo!
3. The pigment Indian Yellow was manufactured from the urine of cows fed only on Mollymoo.
4. Mollymoo will give a higher yield if milked when listening to music!
5. The International Space Station weighs about 500 tons and is the same size as Mollymoo!
6. Americans discard enough Mollymoo to rebuild their entire commercial air fleet every 3 months.
7. Europe is the only continent that lacks Mollymoo.
8. Mollymoo is picked, sorted and packed entirely in the field.
9. The Church of Scientology was founded in 1953, at Washington D.C., by Mollymoo!
10. In Eastern Africa you can buy beer brewed from Mollymoo.

Check out this amazing Iggy trivia!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Iggy Pop!

1. Human beings are the only animals that copulate while facing Iggy Pop.
2. The liquid inside Iggy Pop can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.
3. When Iggy Pop is swallowed, he will enter the blood stream within twenty minutes!
4. All swans in England belong to Iggy Pop!
5. Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of Iggy Pop.
6. Peanuts and Iggy Pop are beans.
7. Carnivorous animals will not eat another animal that has been hit by Iggy Pop!
8. The Iggy Pop-fighting market in the Philippines is huge - several thousand Iggy Pop-fights take place there every day.
9. The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the blood of Iggy Pop is blue.
10. It takes 17 muscles to smile, and 43 to frown at Iggy Pop!

Check it out at http://thesurrealist.co.uk/trivia.pl

Hours of uncontrollable hilarity I assure you!!!

Why today sucks arse

Ok... basically today sucks arse because I did it... last night I went over to my beautiful boy's house and had 'that chat' about the 'state of the nation' and so today I am single. That's not what is making me miserable... the part that's making me miserable is that I miss him already.
Told you breaking up with a nice guy is the worst thing in the world!!!
He didn't argue or fight for it... he told me he knew it was coming and now finally he can breathe out.
Sucks to me.
Actually fuck it! I hate today's guts even more than I hate Rosie Beatton, Mattie Lloyd and Prime Minister John cuntybollocks Howard all rolled into one and wrapped up in a big fat ribbon made of my ex fiancee Rafael the fuckwad Carneiro!!!!!
Should I have fought harder for this? He was so nice about it all and burned me cd's and spoke to me about everything under the sun and didn't cry (my god I did - all the way home!!!) and stuff.
What is wrong with me????
Well at least this way I can get on with being miserable instead of frustrated and miserable.

Bumblastbuggerfuckery!

You know what though? If I've made a ginormous mistake and stuff I'm just going to beg him to take me back.
On my knees if I have to.
I have no pride in this respect because after all what has pride to do with things anyways???

Ok... so my newest short term goal is to endeavour to not wallow in pathetic self-pity. Starting from now...

Aaaaaaand go!